Satisfy your entertainment cravings whenever, wherever!



Buong buhay ni Sylvana ay nilaan niya upang matalo ang mortal niyang katunggali, si Santino. Itataya ba niya ang sarili niyang pagkatao para sa pinakahuli nilang laban, siya naman ang magwagi?


"Santi..."

"Syl..."

"December 24 ko ipinanganak ang kambal natin. Kung tama ang pagkakaalala ko ngayon, mag-dadawalang buwan pa lang sila noon..." Sylvana was shivering at naguunahan ang mga luha niya sa pagbagsak.  Mabuway rin ang tindig niya dahil nanghihina pa ang mga tuhod. Santino dropped the phone to approach her and he carried her inside. Inilapag ni Santi sa higaan at tinabihan. He wanted to comfort her. Hindi siya nagtanong. He waited for her to tell him what happened. He held her until she was ready to speak again.

"...two months old sila when they had a fever at nahirapan sila huminga. It was also one of the times na inaatake ako ng depression ko.  I was crying then at iniisip na hindi ako fit maging nanay nila gaya ng madalas kong nararamdaman. I felt like I was a worthless person dahil hindi ko maalagaan ng tama ang mga anak ko. Si Papa lang ang nakapansin na hindi na maganda ang lagay ng mga bata. He panicked and brought them to the hospital. I was left at home in the midst of my misery. Pero on the way to the hospital..."

Nanlamig ang buong katawan ni Santino.  Gusto niyang tumayo at lumayo para hindi marinig ang susunod na sasabihin ni Sylvana.

"...hindi sila nailigtas. I lost them... that day. Ni hindi ko sila nakita. I was so mad at my father noong sinabi niyang ipina-cremate niya without my consent ang mga anak ko, ang mga anak natin. Abo na lang ang iniuwi niya."

Santi lost his grip on Sylvana and she looked at him.  She saw the river of tears flowing from his eyes and it made her hurt ten times more. It was her fault why their children died. Naging pabaya siyang ina. Unti-unting bumabalik lahat ng sakit at pighati ni Sylvana. Nang makita ni Santi ang reaksiyon ng asawa, hinila niya ito muli at niyakap.

They held each other and cried together for what seemed like eternity to both of them... kahit na ilang minuto lang naman ang lumipas.

"Syl... I want to know what happened after. I know this hurts you more than anything but I have to know." Tumango si Sylvana habang si Santi ay nakatitig lang sa mukha ng asawa. He kissed her forehead to give her strength. Mula sa paghaplos ng mukha ni Sylvana ay maingat siyang inihilig ni Santino sa matipuno niyang dibdib. In turn ay iniyakap niya ang kanang braso sa asawa.  Inilibot ni Sylvana ang paningin sa paligid at ipinako ang paningin sa ilaw ng lampshade sa tabi ni Santi. She can't bring herself to look at her husband while she tells him the rest of the story. With a deep breath, she started to tell him all.

"I was in therapy for post-partum depression. Dalawang session sa ospital at ang iba ay sa bahay.  Iba't-ibang doktor ang naalala ko. Mas lumala ang sitwasyon when it happened. Bits and pieces of my emotional breakdown are flooding my mind right now. Ang huling atake ko ay nang saktan ko ang sarili ko." Sylvana held up her right hand for Santi to see. He cursed when he saw a faint scar on her wrist. Kinuha niya ang kamay ng asawa, kissed the scar and did not let go.

"I wanted to die and be with them. I was so miserable and hurt. Walang nakakaintindi sa akin kahit si Papa. He was distant. Naisip ko noon na wala namang maghahanap sa akin kapag nawala ako sa mundo. I felt useless, worthless. Wala akong kuwentang ina at tao. Ni wala akong kaibigan. Walang dumamay. I was alone and unhappy.  I was beyond miserable, Santi."

"Why didn't you tell me? Si Dom? Sina Mama..." Basag ang boses ni Santino habang umiling si Sylvana at patuloy ang pag-agos ng mga luha niya.

"Everything was done in secret. Kahit ang pagbubuntis at panganganak ko. Pinakiusapan ko si Papa na gawan ng paraan para walang makaalam ng mga nangyayari sa akin. Magaling na siya noon sa tinamo niyang heart attack kaya't ginamit namin iyon as an excuse para sa pagpapabalik-balik ng ospital. He made special arrangement with the hospital itself na ilihim maging ang records ko rito..."

"Syl... I'm sorry. If I have known, babalik ako kaagad. Hindi ko hahayaan na pagdaanan mo iyon lahat na mag-isa. I'm sorry."

Sylvana gripped his hands at umiling. Napangiwi siya nang tumama ang sugat niya sa ulo sa dibdib ni Santi ngunit hindi niya ito ininda. Mas masakit ang nararamdaman niyang pighati sa puso kaysa sa sugat ng ulo niya.

"I couldn't tell you before. I didn't want to. I hated you more than ever when I lost our children. Iniwan mo 'ko. Umasa ako na isasama mo 'ko at ilalayo sa lugar na 'to. Hindi kita sinisisi dahil hindi mo naman alam pero sobra akong galit sa'yo noon. I wanted to erase you completely from my mind.  Everything that happened. Gusto ko magka-amnesia, pero kahit anong untog ko sa ulo ko, hindi ka mawala-wala. I wanted to forget you and everything that would remind me of my children."

"Syl..."

"My father found an alternative and agreeing to that turned my life around..."

"Sylvana! Stop doing this to yourself.  Kagagaling lang ng bukol mo sa ulo, ngayon ito naman? You tried to commit suicide! Para saan? Dahil malungkot ka? Wake up and face your life! Hindi itong ganito!" Don Fabro paced the hospital room angrily. Sagad na sagad na siya sa nangyayari sa anak. May paninikip rin siyang naramdaman sa dibdib pero hindi niya ito ininda. Kailangan niya mag-focus kay Sylvana na nakatulala lang at parang hindi siya nakikita. May nakausap siyang espesyalista na nag-aral pa ng America na maaring makatulong kay Syl.

"May nakausap akong therapist that specialized in hypnosis. Alam ko na ginagawa mo ang mga 'yan para makalimot. I found a way." Dito lang tumingin sa kanya si Sylvana. Ang dating maganda at masayahin niyang anak ay parang buto at balat na sa kapayatan. Namumugto ang mga mata with dark circles underneath.

"Paano?"

"With the use of regression through hypnotism..."

Nang araw ding iyon, pumayag si Sylvana at nagpunta sa kanila ang hypnotherapist. Ipinaliwanag nito ang mangyayari.  

"This is usually done for patients suffering with emotional trauma which results from a stressful event that leaves a person feeling insecure, helpless and alone.  Regression involves taking you back to the traumatic experience so you can relive it and realize that the danger is already in the past.  Our aim is for you to realize that it is no longer the threat that it once was..."

Sinubukan nila ito but it didn't work.  Sylvana ended up crying more and feeling more sorry for herself.  Ang na-accomplish lang nila ay nalaman ng therapist lahat ng takot at sanhi ng pagdurusa ni Sylvana.  Simula sa pag-alis ni Santino hanggang sa pagkamatay ng mga anak nila.

"I have another suggestion but I need your consent and cooperation for choosing to forget the source of your pain." Napukaw muli ng doktor ang atensiyon ni Sylvana. She nodded her head.

Pinahiga siya muli sa couch at sinimulan na ng doktor ang trabaho Pinatulog muna niya si Sylvana gamit ang mga salitang makakapagpakalma sa kanya.

"Breathe in and breathe out slowly... you will feel your breathing growing deeper. A little dryness will form in your mouth and throat...your eyelids will flutter close...relax your body. Relax... relax. Now, tell me what pains you the most. Choose only one and then we'll start from there..."

Alam ng therapist na dalawa ang source ng depression ni Sylvana.  Kailangan lang niyang mamili ng isa.

"I was a worthless mother.  I killed them.  Ako ang dahilan ng pagkamatay nila... kung hindi ko sila pinabayaan, kasama ko pa sila ngayon."

"Imagine yourself if you were never pregnant, what would you want to do? Think about it... what do you see?"

"I am doing well in taking care of the ranch. May mga sinalihan akong contest. I am finally doing something that I love."

"Are you happy?"

"No, but it's a start."

"Do you want that life?"

"Yes."

"Go back to when you learned that you were pregnant... tell me what happened."

"Nagpunta ako para magpatingin at ang sabi ay..."

"Hindi nangyari iyon Sylvana. You did not go to the hospital. You were at home, practicing for your next competition. Do you remember? You were practicing to compete again."

"Yes. I remember."

"What else do you remember on that day?"

"I..."

"Do you remember that you took your herds of cattle to the nearby grassy pasture?"

"Yes."

"Then you took your horse for a ride."

"Yes."

"Tell me what else happened that day."

"Nagpunta ako sa ospital."

"Anong ginawa mo sa ospital?"

"Kumuha ng gamot para kay Papa."

"And after that?"

"I went home and had dinner with him."

"May sinabi ka ba sa kanya?"

"I...no. Wala."

"Wala kayong pinag-usapan?"

"Wala."

"Sylvana, what happened after?"

"I went to sleep."

"Remember that you slept well and woke up early the next morning feeling happy."

"Yes."

"Are you feeling happy now?"

"Yes."

Ang nakaraan na iyon ang naging susi para makapag-move on si Sylvana. Isang buwan mula ng pumanaw ang mga anak niya, her subconcious forgot that she was pregnant. Wala ring nagpaalala sa kanya ng mga iyon.

"That was the start of my new life... free of pain but still filled with anger."

"Syl... I'm sorry."

"I remembered everything now Santi...at ang sakit-sakit pa rin... wala pa rin nagbago."

"May nagbago...Hindi ka na mag-iisa ngayon. I'm here. You have me." She looked at him and it pained him to see the worry and misery on her face.

"Mapapatawad mo ba 'ko dahil sa nagawa ko? You had the right to know..."

"Wala kang dapat ihingi ng tawad." He caressed her cheeks and gave her a kiss. He poured his love on that kiss.

Alam ni Santino na walang ibang dapat sisihin kundi ang mga taong naglayo sa kanila ni Sylvana. May pagkakasala man siya, they were both victims of the situation. Aalamin niya ang buong istorya at pagbabayarin niya ang mga taong sumira sa kanila.















  • (0 reader review/s)

Comments

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

REVENGE OF THE REAL WIFE

Na-comatose si Ashlene dahil naaksidente sila noong katatapos pa lang ng kasal nila ni Jonathan. Subalit paggising niya ay wala na siyang maalala at nasa kandungan na ng iba ang asawa niya!

Image Description
ad_sesa
19 July 2018