I’m not even going to say it explicitly in this passage because you can’t get any more explicit than a title. Even so, caps lock and in italics and boldfaced and screaming at you across Broadway on a three-story marquee flashing lights blaring loud noises, you still wouldn’t know it.
That’s all right. It’s a good thing, really.
Who am I kidding.
I did your homework again last night. And last week too. And the week before that. Because you asked so nicely. Just kidding it’s because,
I don’t know.
Do you ever wanna slap someone with a fish because dear lord they’re so beautiful and they don’t even know it because they’re so strange and irreverent and wonderfully bizarre in a world where everything is flat and grey and when they laugh it’s with no sense of any self-consciousness whatsoever it’s a laugh that’s too hard and too loud and when they talk about something they really get into it with such passion and such detail as if the whole world depended on it but not their homework. Which is why I have to do it for you—
I MEAN COME ON HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WEAR CROCS TO THEIR PARENTS’ SILVER ANNIVERSARY
You’d probably run away if I ever said any of this out loud (except you suck at running). Or laugh really hard and slap me on the back.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this right now.
Don’t ever write anything you’re denying. Because you’ll look at what you’ve done and well ain’t that swell I got it bad don’t I. Don’t do it. It’s a trap.
And yet here I am, typing away.